14th year house bound

[hiddenite]

Hi crazy bug lady

Thank you for you support, I cannot believe I did it.

Trying to get the anxiety back under control.

I certainly do need to concentrate on my breathing it's really difficult.

Take care

Karen

[hiddenite]

Jacques they are beautiful, you are so thoughtful thank you.
I do need a new teddy my old one I found a hole in his tummy, he didnt go to well after a bad night, last night. I don't know my own strength.
You are perfect j thanks for the unconditional support my friend.
Karen

[Jacques]

My angel, what ever the reason, i am so glad you pampered yourself, even if it is something as simple as a haircut.  i am so glad the girls who served you was nice, it does make all the difference, i am sure you look young and beautiful Karen, just how i picture you.

I am glad your girls like the new hair do. it would have been bad luck if they didn't, you can't glue hair back on

I hope you see your picture Karen, i am just so shocked you did it, i thought it was something i was going to talk to you about for ages, but now you have done it, and i am sure it will be worth the anxiety, it does get easier Karen, each time you do it, i find the first time i have to go into a different shop i shake like mad, sweat and can't speak, but time and time you shake less and the physical symptoms ease up a bit.

I am so proud of you Karen, you should be proud of yourself too.  i am glad to encourage you, but you took the major step and did it!!!!!!!

I am still so excited, i could jump out of my skin, i am so happy.

[hiddenite]

I'm glad I can make you happy Jacques. That's really good to hear.
Just shows what I can achieve with some help from a kind friend

[Jacques]

OMG Poor teddy, a hole in him, the poor little guy/girl, i hope you patch him/her up.

Karen you have made my entire week, i felt so overwhelmed because of this week, being so busy, but all ofthat is gone now because of your news this morning, i am so glad a little support can have such major achievements, i bet it wil ltake a while to get used to it .

Now all we need to do is get the tradies sorted, get the night terrors under control and you are back on top of the world.  Karen please treat yourself tonight, you have had a major breakthrough.

My thoughts are with you my friend (in a good way).  Keep up the good work!!!!!

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques enough about me how are you managing, any luck with the no self harming.

Oh yes if I can just manage the trades, the sooner we could move in and have our own home.

What are you going to challenge yourself with Jacques. I would like to help you achieve something even if it's small. I feel that I'm taking up too much of your time and energy.

I'm glad your thinking of me because I sure to think about you Jacques:-)

[Jacques]

Hi My angel,

no, no luck with the SH, i SH this afternoon, not good, i feel so sick.

Oh yes, that will be our next challenge Karen, i can't wait for you to move into your new home, it sounds so wonderful. Well i had an unexpected visitor today, i went to have a shower and their was a lizard in the shower!!!!!! it took me ages to catch him/her, it iwas so frightened, so i put it under one of your trees in the back yard, well at least he/she was clean

Karen i think this week i have done enough challenging, with the electrician and plumber adn mums medical appointments, itomorrow is my day out, which i am dreading, and to boot my aunt has invited us to her house for lunch, so i a malready panicing about having to go their.

Karen i do nothing all day, i am so glad to have you in my life, it gives it some meaning, without you and mum their would be nothing.

I hope one day you can accept my friendship without guilt, and that goes for me too, i often feel guilty about burdening you with my thoughts, this forum is all i have in my life.

[hiddenite]

Oh Jacques I'm sorry that you are self harming my wish for you is to have a day without having to do that.

J I'm new at this friend stuff swing I haven't had one in 24 years. So I'm doing my best.

Yes you've had huge challenges this week and you have done so well.

I understand that you must be so anxious about tomorrow that's to be expected. At least you make the effort for your mum, l bet she is very grateful.

Are you doing anything to distract Jacques. I know it's exhausting but it's all we have.

Did you manage to fix your computer.

My youngest daughter loves lizards she used to catch them all the time at out old house.

I hope there's no more surprises tonight j.

Karen

[Jacques]

Hi My angle, it is ok, i have been SH for so long, but i still hate myself for doing it, one day i will go too far.

Yes i am new at the friend thing too, we will figure it out, i hope we have quite a while to chat

Yes mum knows i am anxious about it, she is very supportive and will elave if i get too overwhelmed, but i will stay their, i know how much she likes going their.

Yes, listening to music, playing games and working on my computers, plenty to distract, but struggling to drown out the voices in my head telling me to worry.

Yes most of the problems are ironed out, took a lot of fixing though, but i have a relyable internet connection again, so i am happy.

Oh i bet she misses catching little lizards, she sounds like she is going to have a wonderful time at her new home, from what you describe, she is going to be so happy.

It's ok Karen, my day has the silver linning of your big achievement, maybe one day we cboth can like ourselves again, you are well on the way Karen, i hope you can see the small and big changes from when we first met, i can't believe how far you have come, like me step by step, some back, some forward, but always moving.

[hiddenite]

Jacques I know it's sounds stupid but have you tried to put a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it every time you want to self harm.

Sorry just trying to help.... The other thing I was told was to draw on the spot with red pen. I know it doesn't work but maybe worth a try.

You know all the other things. Maybe we could help each other to stop. Just an idea.....

I'm so glad your mum is aware of how you are effected by these outings I'll be thinking about you tomorrow and here to help when you get home.

My daughter loves animals and will happily play outside in the garden. We used to get king parrots at the house they would land on her hand and she would feed them.

Butterflies would land on her hand when she put it out.

Even the little frogs were her friends.

My poor teddy I will have to stitch him up.