Thanks @Former-Member

A couple of years ago I started a big life change, and a medication change.  The medication change diminished, and then eliminated, my libido.  The life change brought a lot of deeply internalised, deeply buried poison to the surface where it was now pointed directly at myself (instead of vaguely elsewhere, where it could be somewhat ignored).  The two combined dried up my sex life with my partner.

I did nothing, said nothing.  I buried my head in the sand, and hoped it would somehow get better.

My silence tapped into my partner's own insecurities.  Repeated pleas for me to at least just talk -- to my partner, to my therapist, anything -- appeared to be ignored.  I couldn't even talk about why I couldn't talk about it for a very long time.  It looked very much like I didn't care that our sex life had dried up, that I didn't care how much pain my silence was causing.  It's destroying us.

I'm starting to be able to work through it.  I'm starting to be able to talk to my therapist about it.  I can somewhat talk to my partner about it, though I have immense difficulty initiating discussion and tend to go blank, like I did initially in the thread.  (Which of course looks like lack of interest, if it never comes up until they bring it up.)

I don't know what exactly I'm asking here.  I guess I'm contextualising my original question:  can you suggest any tactics towards building comfort with sexuality?